Friday, December 28, 2012

Week 8: Hello Morning Sickness....

Woo!  8w4d today!  And yes, that's one correct :D

And no, I will not be altering or editing my previous belly shots with the correct numbers.  I feel like leaving previous weeks' posts as they are kind of highlights the excitement of this adventure, shows how I learn new things along the way.  Shows the differences in thought processes and decisions as the weeks go on.  So even though they're wrong, they will be staying the way they are!

Anyway.  Wow, I made it to 8 weeks.  I'm actually 8.5 weeks now.  And now it's officially the longest I've ever been pregnant, hah.  So I'm treading into whole new territory.

My morning sickness is getting terrible.  I'm pretty much mildly to severely nauseous 24/7.  With more frequent vomiting episodes.  The only way to keep it from the "Imma make you feel like you have to puke" stage is by eating frequently.  And I still feel nauseous afterward, but not to the point of wanting to upchuck.

I've also been wretchedly constipated (TMI, I know).  I'm starting to get uncomfortable intestinal cramping because of it.  From the bloat, the gas, and the constipation, my lower half is so very much uncomfortable, boo!

But I did have a bit of a scare tonight!

So S and I were just hanging out together, spending some time together as a couple before he had to go to work, and I started getting dizzy/faint feeling.  It got worse, and I started getting chills and sweating while feeling like I was going to pass out.  And I was ridiculously thirsty.  Something told me to sit in a cold bath, which I did, and I felt better after like 10 minutes.  I puked before this started happening, and as it was going on, my nausea was getting worse again.  I haven't had another episode since.

I'm wondering if it might have been from dehydration (because I couldn't seem to get enough liquids into me, I felt so thirsty).  I don't really suffer from dehydration, and even when I have been dehydrated, I've never had this type of reaction.  But, hey, pregnancy will cause you to react oddly to things you're normally used to, so who knows!  Just because I never reacted like this pre-pregnancy if I got dehydrated doesn't mean it'll be the same pregnant.

Either way, I'll be mentioning to my OB next time I see him.

ANYWAY!

Belly shot time, then I'm off to watch more Cake Boss!


And trust when I say that is mostly bloat.  I weighed myself after this picture, and I've hardly gained any weight, so this is most definitely preggo bloat!

Anyway!

G'night!

Monday, December 24, 2012

Ultrasound Pictures

Aha, I've been meaning to update the blog with ultrasound pictures.  Work has been killer the past few days.

ANYWAY!

My estimation days have been off!  So for every picture that's on here, 3 days need to be subtracted from it.

My ultrasound went awesome!  Baby is right on target for growth from when I suspected I ovulated after my MC.  If I had ovulated on my normal schedule, at the time of my ultrasound, based on a 30-day cycle, I would have been about 7w6d.  But I had a hunch I ovulated about 2-3 days later than I normally did.  Which baby showed to be correct.  Baby measured at 7w3d, which is RIGHT on track for my suspected ovulation date.

I got to see the heartbeat, and I got to HEAR the heartbeat, though I didn't quite realize that's what it was until later into the ultrasound.  Like, I knew it was the baby's heartbeat, but it didn't fully sink in until the tech was doing some measurements of my ovaries and whatnot.

Baby's heart rate was 153 BPM.  A nice, strong, healthy heartbeat!

I didn't get weepy-eyed until I got into the car with my SIL (who so graciously took me to my appointment; S, my fiance, didn't go because he had just gotten home from work as we were getting ready to leave, so he was pooped).  After three pregnancies, for the first time, I saw my baby.  It was such a surreal feeling.  I was in this happy, shocked daze during my ultrasound and for the rest of the day.  I couldn't stop looking at the pictures.

Anyway, pictures as promised!  Taken with my phone, so they're not the best!

Profile Shot.  3D no less!

One of the better shots of our little gummy bear.  This was a 3D shot from behind.  Here, you can see the back of its head, its spine, and its little arm buds.  I love this picture <3

And just your standard 2D sonogram.  "Hi Mommy!"

The tech also printed out ultrasound pictures for my SIL that said "Hi Auntie!"  I loved it.  Such a nice touch, and so heartfelt that my SIL started crying.  The tech was awesome and made the experience so memorable and enjoyable.

My next prenatal appointment is on the 11th (S's birthday, hah!).  Excited to see what happens next :D  I'll be doing a Week 8 entry either tomorrow or later into the week.

But I am officially 8 weeks, y'all!  Gosh, time seems to be flying, just a bit, haha!

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Week 7: Update on Us!

Update time!  I'm officially 7w4d.  Wow, time is flying FAST!  Feels like only yesterday I was finding out I was pregnant again, but it's been about a month.  I'm getting closer and closer to that 8 week mark, and after that, I'll have officially bypassed either of my pregnancies in regards to how far I am.  It's going to be a surreal feeling.

My morning sickness is picking up steam.  I'm not so much as puking more frequently (well, I am, LOL), but that I feel nauseous ALL the time.  Like 24/7 nausea.  Doesn't matter what I do, I feel sick!  As miserable as it makes me feel, it gives me the reassurance I need to know everything is going okay in there.

So my fiance and I have been having little "quarrels" over what to call our baby in-utero until we know its sex.  I wanted to call it our Little Fox (we are furries after all) but he wants to call it our Little Zombie.  We haven't come to an agreement yet, hah!  But I'll win!  Damn well better win :D

ANYWAY!  Update on my appointment.

My first appointment went well.  Was WAY shorter than I was anticipating, but I think my OB was hoping I'd come in with questions.  Which I know I should have, but I locked up and couldn't think of any.  He was super funny, and I really liked him.  He ordered an ultrasound for this Thursday (the 20th), to see how far along I am exactly, give us about a five day window on my due date, and see how baby is growing.  Especially considering this is after a miscarriage.  Like immediately after a miscarriage.

I told him that when I said my last period was the 24th of October, it was actually the day of my miscarriage.  So it'll be interesting to see if my ultrasound shows me farther along than I think I am, or if I'm about on schedule for where I think I am.  The dates I put for how far along I am are pretty much rough estimates.  I know I ovulated a couple of days later than I normally do for my cycles (so I wasn't too far off from ovulating on time, just a couple of days), but for all I know, my normal ovulation "signs" could have been something else, and I could have ovulated on time.  Ultrasound will give us a better window.

Regardless, I'll be far enough along I should see a heartbeat, so I'm super stoked about that.

At my appointment, they took my blood to test for different things.  STI's, my blood type, etc.  After I told him this was a pregnancy immediately following a miscarriage, he also ordered an hCG quaint test.  Was NOT stoked about that.  I'd like to remain ignorant on my numbers, one less thing for me to stress about.  But I haven't gotten a call from the office, so I'm assuming my numbers are okay.

He did tell me not to stress too much about anything going on with this pregnancy, and to try and remain as normal as possible (no alcohol and smoking of course), but that if I need to drink a soda here and there to remain feeling normal, then to do it.  He told me not to put myself into a bubble, because whatever may happen is out of my hands and by worrying about something bad happening and trying to prevent it by, well, putting myself in a bubble, will just make me miserable.

I was pretty much already doing that as it was.  Enjoying this experience and just trying to remain as normal as possible in my life to keep myself from stressing out too bad.  But it was nice to hear the same reassurance from my OB.

OH!

Wanted to add.  I'm starting to get some rounding out in my pelvic area.  It's so BIZARRE.  I call it my little baby paunch.  My friend suspects it's my uterus starting to push things up.  We couldn't feel my uterus, but she noticed the rounding out I was talking about.  So it's most likely my uterus as well as bloat, but hah, it's so weird to see.  I noticed it around the middle of my 6th week, and it's been getting more noticeable.

Anyway, ultrasound is in a couple of days, I'll probably do a completely separate post for that one.  Fingers crossed everything looks good!

Time for my obligatory belly shot!


Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Week 6: Jealousy, Emotions, Morning Sickness, and "Yes, I Already Knew That"

I've made it to 6 weeks!  I'm actually 6 weeks and 4 days (6w4d).  Though, since I'm writing this post after midnight, I'm TECHNICALLY 6w5d, BUT WHATEVER.

SO HOW IS THIS PREGNANCY GOING.

Well, for one, it's throwing me for a loop.  Like a serious one.  With my first pregnancy, at this stage in the game, I had textbook morning sickness.  Woman with her head over the toilet, puking her guts up.  Do I have that with this one?  Nope, nada.  Nothing.  I do puke, don't get me wrong, but nowhere near the extent of my first one.  I'm just hungry all the time.  I eat so much that when I step on the scale, I expect to see a ten pound gain.  I've actually only gained a couple of pounds in the last couple of months.  I know part of it is me eating a shit ton of food, but I'm shocked it's only been that much.  Last time I weighed myself, I was like 174.  I weighed myself today for S&Gs and I was still right at about that number (AFTER INDULGING IN FOOD, NOM NOM NOM).  So the bigger belly I'm sporting--all bloat.

But I was having a high paranoid moment last time I wrote an entry.  I was convinced something was wrong or I wasn't really pregnant anymore or JUST SOME OTHER WEIRD BS THAT MY BRAIN CAME UP WITH.  So I caved and bought a box of FRERs.  Took both of them within a 12 hour time period, both came up blaring positives.  So much so the test line is officially darker than the control line, and the test line was nice and dark before the control line even started coming up (the test line showed up as the test was only halfway through the results window).  So I am VERY pregnant.



Anyway, as some of you may have noticed there are certain subjects in my title I want to discuss that I've noticed with my feelings towards this pregnancy.

Jealousy.

I realize that I get very jealous when people announce their pregnancies.  I don't know why.  I think it's remnants left over after watching others get pregnant while I was still not-pregnant.  And it also is tied in with my miscarriage.

The miscarriage did steal some innocence and fun that being pregnant would have otherwise had.  It was the stark realization and reality of how fragile an embryo/fetus is to a certain point of gestation.  And it was like my mantra of "It's still early, anything can happen" was slapping me in the face.  So I realize that the jealousy comes from the fact that I could miscarry and I won't be pregnant anymore.  But they'll still be pregnant.  And that's what I get jealous about.

Which is STUPID, mind you, because I AM pregnant.  Very much so.  With what's appearing to be a sticky baby.  The fear of miscarriage goes down everyday I wake up and realize I'm still pregnant.  Everyday I wake up and feel like a weight is strapped to my chest (read: my VERY sore boobs) is a good day.  I know once I'm in my second trimester, the jealousy factor should go down (hopefully).

NOW FOR EMOTIONS!

These damned hormones are making me WAY more emotional than I need to be, LOL!  I was watching Cake Boss and I've teared up over like four different episodes BECAUSE IT WAS JUST SO DAMNED HAPPY.  I started crying because some girl was crying over getting her favorite horse for Christmas (again SO DAMNED HAPPY).  And I almost started crying at Babies R Us because I was looking at all the clothes and realized I'd be having a tiny person to put these clothes on.  And that made me SO DAMNED HAPPY.  SEE!  I start crying over happy things.

My emotions.  They can't handle it.  Plus work and preggo hormones are making me super pissy lately.

Morning sickness.

It's not severe, it's between minor to mild, depending on the day.  It's more rolling stomach, not enough to make me puke, nausea mixed with heartburn.  But ugh, I've discovered if I don't eat when I wake up, I will puke when I eat later.  This has been my routine for months; I don't eat until I have a lunch at work or until I go home and eat a late dinner.  Which doesn't work with preggo-ness.  That routine makes me incredibly sick and I end up throwing up.

But when I'm home on my days off, I feel hungry ALL the time.  I'm starting to think it might be dehydration as well.  Sucks, because I can't stand water!

And the last bit.

Man, I am already getting advice.  And I just want to stare at people and tell them to go away.  Every time I eat something, someone's all YOU KNOW YOU SHOULDN'T BE EATING THAT!  And I'm all RIGHT NOW I'M EATING WHATEVER MY STOMACH CAN HANDLE!  Or how I shouldn't be messing with over half the animals in my store (I wash my hands afterward or sanitize them quickly if it's too busy to disappear for a quick wash), or shouldn't be doing this or that.

Or when I go "God my boobs hurt" and they go "OH JUST WAIT FOR X, Y, Z TO HAPPEN TO YOUR NIPPLES.  THIS STARTS HAPPENING AND THIS!"  I've learned the quickest way to shut them up is telling them I've been pregnant before.

I also love when people are all "Let me look....you're having A because of B."

Oh man, I can't wait until I'm big and showing.  The advice and comments are only going to get better, LOL.

Anyway, weekly belly shot at 6w4d.  Took it earlier today.

SO MUCH BLOAT AND PUDGE.

I so pudgy, LOL.


Tuesday, December 4, 2012

The First 5/6 Weeks

Helloooo!  This is my pregnancy/baby/motherhood blog I'm starting.  As you have probably figured out, I am expecting my first!  This first entry is goin' to be a doozy, so sit back and relax!

So here's some few things about me.  And then I'll move on to what you can expect from this blog.

I was born on January 17th, 1992, making me 20 at the publishing of this post.  By the time baby is here, I'll be at least 6 months in to being 21.

I'm engaged to the man of my life, and we've been together for almost two years.  Our two year will be in March, and our two years of living together will be in August.  We own quite a few furbabies as well as some scalies :)  I'm an artist by trade and an equestrian at heart.  I'm also part of the furry community and have considered dabbling into creating fursuits and see how well I take to it (as a potential source of extra income).

Oh, and my name's Ary.

Anyway.

This is actually my third pregnancy.

In 2011, I found out I was pregnant.  At the time, we were in no position to raise or care for a child, and we made the very hard and very emotional decision to terminate.  I don't hide this fact, even though many feel I should be ashamed of it.  Even though we didn't keep it, that was still our baby.  I got my first angel baby on June 22nd, 2011.  I was 8 weeks with that one.

In October 2012, I found out I was pregnant again!  This time we had been sort of trying to get pregnant.  We weren't doing any of the hardcore fertility observations.  We just didn't use any type of protection and didn't stress about it every month.  I kept track of my ovulation based on body signs (that were pretty consistent), and that was about the only thing I did.  On October 24th, 2012, I miscarried that pregnancy just shy of 5 weeks.

But on November 22nd, 2012, I found out I was expecting once again!  I didn't have a period between this pregnancy and my miscarriage.  But so far, everything seems to be progressing along just fine.  I've already hit my personal milestone of making it to 5 weeks (I'll be 6 weeks on Friday, based on a 30-day cycle), and I've even already started to puke every now and then!  My symptoms with this pregnancy are not nearly as pronounced as they were with my first (where I was puking up everything I ate), but I know every pregnancy is unique and different.

So even though this is my third pregnancy, this will be our first child.  I'll never forget my two angel babies, but as I am, three is my lucky number after all.  So third time's a charm, right?

I was very nervous when I first found out on Thanksgiving.  The test line was quite faint, there but faint.  I was hesitant to count it as a positive, for fear of another miscarriage, so I tried not to get my hopes up.  On the 24th, I tested again, and the line was definitely darker.  I had one more test, so I held off until the 28th, give myself (and the baby) four days.  If my hCG levels were progressing normally, then the test should be quite a bit darker.  I both dreaded and excitedly waited for taking that final test.

And when I took it, boy did I get a very welcome and happy surprise.  Not only was I still pregnant, I was (as my sister-in-law calls it) SUPER pregnant.  I did the dip method (which I had done with the last two tests as well, so there couldn't be a chance of "maybe I didn't pee on it enough" type of thinking), and the test line (the YOU'RE PREGNANT line) popped up BEFORE the control line.  And it was very much way darker than the other two.



This was a first for me, actually, seeing as with my first pregnancy, I was about as far along with that one as I was with this one when I tested, and the control line still came up first (though the test line was following very quickly behind it).  So when I tell others that story, I get twin jokes.  Which prompted me to ask my mom if twins ran in her family, and to my shock, they do, so eep!  Can't wait to see if that first ultrasound shows one baby or two.  There's most likely only one, but, hey, anything's possible, right?  I'm honestly hoping for one baby, but if there's two, I'll love them both equally, no matter what.

The symptoms with this pregnancy so far are mostly some queasiness in the morning and a bit after I eat (depending on what I eat), heartburn, headaches, EXTREMELY sore breasts.  I'm constantly tired and will randomly pass out during the day.  I've also got those lovely bluish veins on my bewbs.  I also get bizarre and vivid dreams at night.  I'm also constipated, and I'll get intestinal cramping that initially freaked me out, but now I know what they are and can keep myself from panicking too badly.  I'm also starting to pee waaaay more frequently.

My aerolas are starting to get darker, and my nipples are getting darker as well as redder, which is funny and fascinating to me.  If I'm not queasy or getting heartburn, I feel like I'm ravenously hungry.  All.  The.  Time.

My breasts are also starting to get larger.  I'm currently in a D, which was actually a touch large for me pre-pregnancy, and now it's starting to become a tight fit.

I do get worried every now and then about this pregnancy, since my symptoms aren't as extravagant as they were with my first pregnancy.  I worry that I'm going to wake up one day and find blood on the toilet paper (again, like my last pregnancy we just lost), or that when I go and get my first ultrasound, the baby's heart won't be beating, and I'll discover I have yet another dead baby.  But I just tell myself that everyday I'm pregnant is a good day, and that everyday I'm pregnant means baby is growing and getting stronger each day.

I know my chances of a subsequent miscarriage are quite low, and this is what I hold onto when I start freaking out.  I look at the 80% chance I have of carrying to term, versus the 20% chance I have of miscarrying.  And it helps keep me optimistic.  I also tell myself miscarriages are quite common, and for the most part are one-time occurrences.  I have nothing in my medical history that points to the likelihood of another miscarriage, and that the one I had just happened because such is life.  And that I'm most likely in the majority of those who go on to have a healthy baby after a miscarriage.  These are all the things I look at and tell myself when I start to have moments of panic.  And it actually works (for the most part, LOL).  I'm past what I, personally, consider the highest risk.  Those first 3-4 weeks where you can miscarry and not even know it.  I know until I hit my second trimester, I'm still at risk, but I personally consider those first 3-4 weeks the highest risk period.

I do know when it comes to my morning sickness in regards to vomiting, that I'm only barely getting to 6 weeks, and that most women don't get it until they're 6-8 weeks in.  There is still a chance I may start upchucking everything I eat.  Little secret about me: I can't involuntarily vomit.  I have to make myself, which may be a leading factor in why I haven't really puked (though with my first, even though I couldn't just puke whenever and had to force myself to, my stomach was rolling in such a way, I felt that was my only option to get it to stop).  It sucks when my stomach is rolling and I just want to upchuck.  I've gotten pukey feeling the past couple of days, but haven't quite hit that threshold where I feel my only option is to puke.  Well, that's a lie, I've thrown up a couple of times, and the only reason I haven't done it more is because I'll be at a really inconvenient area and just force myself to get over it.

Though when I took a shower tonight, I had to get out quickly, because the steam and heat of the water caused me to nearly upchuck, I got so nauseous!

Anyway, this has gotten quite long, but it is in regards to the first few weeks and an about me and my thought process, I guess!

We're expecting our little Rainbow Baby, our Little Monkey in August of 2013.  My first prenatal appointment is on the 14th of December.  Next week, eek!  Both excited and scared!

As for things you'll see on this blog.  Pictures of course.  Probably some videos here and there.  I've told my fiance I'd LOVE to make videos of just our daily life while I'm pregnant so that our kid can see what mom and dad were like before they were on the scene (and while they were in-utero).

I'll also be doing weekly belly shots, which I'll add after this.  As it currently stands, it's just bloat and pudge (and my overindulgence of food because damnit I'm hungry all the time D8<).  But I want to see when I start noticing that bloat and pudge turning into baby (and pudge, LOL).  I want to see for myself when I start showing.

It starts with 4+ weeks (I couldn't remember which day of the 4 weeks I took the picture) and the second one is my most recent.

Sorry for this being so long!  Hopefully, the next entries aren't as long as this one was.  My first blog entries always tend to be a bit of a novel, but the rest should hopefully be shorter.  This is a place to keep my memories of this pregnancy, to share with family and friends, and then once baby's here, it can become a place to keep memories of our child and just motherhood lessons I learn along the way.

Anyway.

Belly shots!



Night y'all!  I'll try to keep this thing updated weekly.  Until then, see ya next time!