Week 12: Meltdown and Baby Paunch!

I keep updating this later than I mean to, LOL!  12w5d today!

Anyway, this week has been hectic.  I went back to work, and I was doing okay.  Then I've had the past couple of days off, and I had a meltdown.

I just started freaking out and stressing out about our future to come.

If we could handle this emotionally, financially, mentally.  And what we had gotten ourselves into.  I started texting S and apologizing to him.  APOLOGIZING!

For ruining his life, for forcing him into this.  Oh god, it was a terrible night.  Of course, S being as awesome as he is, told me he was happy with what was going on.  He was excited for the baby, and that he loved me...and the baby :)  I actually teared up and almost broke down crying, because that small comment meant so much and made me so happy.  Helped calm me down.

And to make it even sweeter!  When he crawled into bed in the morning, he cuddled up next to me and was rubbing my tummy, telling me how there's a baby in there, and it's our baby.  Though I was half-asleep, I was smiling as he was talking.

I know no matter what comes our way, we can handle it.  We're resourceful people, and even though it'll be stressful at times, we'll be okay.  I have my mother as my inspiration to look up to in that regard.

Anyway.

HAPPIER NEWS!

I've got a baby paunch going on!  No, not quite in my belly yet!  But in my hips/pelvic area it's starting to round out and become firmer!  It's the baby moving up!  But it also means I'm going to be quickly migrating over to maternity pants as well.  I bought the Belly Band for work.  I want to get a pair of khaki-colored cargo pants that the maternity store carries, since our dress code at work changes in March.  But my current work pants probably won't make it, fit wise, until then, and I don't want to buy new work pants for our current dress code for less than two months.  But they've been getting tighter on my hips, and with my shirt tucked in and the belt done up, my hips will start hurting within an hour or two into my shift.

I have an appointment February 8th.  Can't wait to hear baby again!  And my anatomy scan is getting closer and closer.  Just 6 more weeks until we get to see our little bean again!

Anyway, belly shot from yesterday!

Week 11: Birthday! and Anatomy Scan Date!

That's right!  I had my birthday the other day (the 17th) :D I'm officially 21!

To celebrate, my friends took me to Total Wine and I bought my first bottle of alcohol.  No, I didn't drink it, LOL.  I gave it to S, and he's been enjoying it.

Looking like a hot mess.  Hell yeah.

Other than that, I just kinda relaxed the day away.  I had a week off from work, so I wanted to savor my last few days before having to go back.

My nausea is starting to kick in during the morning and at night.  I was tossing and turning last night because I felt so sick to my stomach.  The only way I was finally able to fall asleep was on my back.  Ugh, not fun.  Especially once baby gets too heavy for that.

I have some gloriously huge preggo boobs now.  They're only a touch tender now, they've finally settled down, but god, they're still getting huge.

My anatomy scan!  It's already been scheduled!  March 11th, I'll be getting my anatomy scan at 10:30 in the morning.  I'm so excited!  I'll be exactly 19 weeks when I go in.  I can't wait to find out what we're having.  I keep hoping I have a girl; every time I dream about baby, I dream of a girl.  But all of the silly gender prediction tests and the Chinese calendar tell me I'm having a boy.  So!  We shall see!

Belly shot taken yesterday!  At 11w4d :)

I've deflated a bit, LOL!  Now I'm just looking like a hot, fat mess.  Aaaah, oh well.  My uterus should be lifting out of my pelvic area soon, so hopefully it'll start turning into a baby belly soon.

And because I decided to draw something cute, I drew my fursona all preggo and adorable and chibi!

Anyway, see ya next week!

Week 10: Maternity Clothes and Heartbeat!

I've been kind of lack at posting this on time.  At the time of posting this, I'm 10w6d.  Ahaha, keep posting late.

My appointment on Friday went really, really well.  S came this time, so did one of my friends.  The nurse practitioner (she'll be the one taking care of most of my appointments, since what's convenient for me isn't the same time my OB's around; we've talked about this) tried picking up the heartbeat with the doppler.  We couldn't pick it up, so she went through and did my pelvic exam/pap smear.

Ugh, I did NOT like the pap smear.  My cervix has gotten SO sensitive since becoming pregnant.  When she swabbed my cervix, I had flashbacks to when I terminated my first pregnancy.  It was so upsetting, it felt pretty similar, so I had to keep myself from having a pretty bad anxiety moment.  I just kept reminding myself that she wasn't ripping my baby out of me, and that everything was okay.

AFTER THE PAP SMEAR, she did the pelvic exam and was able to push my uterus up.  When she did this, she tried the doppler afterward, and we managed to pick up the heartbeat!  She said it was in the 140s range.  After hearing it, my anxiety went WAY down.  Especially after having the flashbacks.

S absolutely lit up when he heard the heartbeat, and his smile touched me.

After my appointment, we went back to our place, and my friend and I got together with my SIL and her friend and did some running around.  Went to Buy Buy Baby and looked at some baby stuff, then my friend and I went to the mall and I went and FINALLY bought some maternity clothes!

Got two pairs of leggings.  A shirt with a design on it.  A tank top.  And two three-quarter sleeve shirts.  The leggings are SO comfortable, and I love running around in them.  Wearing the maternity clothes makes all of this feel more real, since, whether I wanted to admit to it or not, my normal clothes aren't nearly as comfortable as they used to be.  Which is a little saddening, but to be expected.

I went to Wal-Mart later, with my friend, and her boyfriend, after S went to work, and I ended up buying a onesie.  I caved.  I've avoided looking at baby stuff, well in regards to myself, because buying anything would make it more real.  So I caved and bought the onesie.  It's currently sitting on our recliner.  I got pretty emotional when I bought it too.

Anyway, that's about it.  Getting closer and closer to being done with this first trimester.  My symptoms are finally subsiding, they're not so overpoweringly strong anymore, which is AWESOME.  Though I am waking up every three hours or so to pee, which is not awesome.

Belly shot time!  I deflated a bit, haha.

Week 9: We're Getting Closer to the First Trimester Homestretch!

Aaah, I'm a bit late in posting this.

Gosh, I'm already almost 10 weeks, will be on Monday.  I told S we officially have a fetus, and he laughed.

As for me, not a whole lot is going on.  I managed to snag a week off from work to just relax.  The way my nausea was going, it was making it hard to focus on my tasks and get things done without worrying if I was going to upchuck or have to rush off to vomit.  So I wasn't any real help to anyone at work.

My next appointment is on the 11th, I'll be about 10.5 weeks when I go in.  S is coming with, in case they use the Doppler and we're able to hear baby's heartbeat (I also keep reminding myself we may not, and that it's not indicative anything's going wrong...I has pudge, so it may make it harder to hear at 10.5 weeks).  After that, clothes shopping with my SIL and a friend :D and one of my SIL's friends (who is ALSO preggo).

So my symptoms are starting to hit that point where they're subsiding.  My nausea isn't so overpowering anymore, and I'm not waking up queasy as often.  My heartburn is making a comeback, which SUCKS.  My boobs aren't as tender anymore, but damnit they're starting to get itchy all the time.  I finally outgrew one of my bras and had to put on a bigger bra I had laying around.

Unfortunately, even though this means I'll luck out from having morning sickness my entire pregnancy, it's making me panic.  All I've had are my symptoms to keep me grounded and from panicking over every little thing.  With them starting to subside (which is NORMAL at this point), it is pushing the freak-out button.  At some points, it's enough to make me cry, because all I want is to enjoy my pregnancy, not freak-out over every little possible thing.  So, yeah, my biggest fear is losing the baby at this point.

But, I'm getting better at managing the panic.  I just know I'm about to hit that limbo of not really having many symptoms and not quite looking pregnant yet.  So it's difficult not to freak-out.

I'll feel better once I feel baby kick and move in there.

I'm also starting to get more noticeable round ligament pains, OUCH.  If I sneeze, move wrong, stretch wrong, get up too fast, it's like I pulled a muscle and it hurts.  Ugh!

But in a few weeks, I'll be in my second trimester.  Gosh, I'm already almost halfway through my third month.  Time really is flying by!

Obligatory belly shot :) Belly is starting to round out a bit now, granted it's still mostly bloat, but damn it looks so different from when I was only 4 weeks preggo.  I can't wait for it to get that characteristically hard pregnant belly look instead of the rounded bloated look, hah!

Week 8: Hello Morning Sickness....

Woo!  8w4d today!  And yes, that's one correct :D

And no, I will not be altering or editing my previous belly shots with the correct numbers.  I feel like leaving previous weeks' posts as they are kind of highlights the excitement of this adventure, shows how I learn new things along the way.  Shows the differences in thought processes and decisions as the weeks go on.  So even though they're wrong, they will be staying the way they are!

Anyway.  Wow, I made it to 8 weeks.  I'm actually 8.5 weeks now.  And now it's officially the longest I've ever been pregnant, hah.  So I'm treading into whole new territory.

My morning sickness is getting terrible.  I'm pretty much mildly to severely nauseous 24/7.  With more frequent vomiting episodes.  The only way to keep it from the "Imma make you feel like you have to puke" stage is by eating frequently.  And I still feel nauseous afterward, but not to the point of wanting to upchuck.

I've also been wretchedly constipated (TMI, I know).  I'm starting to get uncomfortable intestinal cramping because of it.  From the bloat, the gas, and the constipation, my lower half is so very much uncomfortable, boo!

But I did have a bit of a scare tonight!

So S and I were just hanging out together, spending some time together as a couple before he had to go to work, and I started getting dizzy/faint feeling.  It got worse, and I started getting chills and sweating while feeling like I was going to pass out.  And I was ridiculously thirsty.  Something told me to sit in a cold bath, which I did, and I felt better after like 10 minutes.  I puked before this started happening, and as it was going on, my nausea was getting worse again.  I haven't had another episode since.

I'm wondering if it might have been from dehydration (because I couldn't seem to get enough liquids into me, I felt so thirsty).  I don't really suffer from dehydration, and even when I have been dehydrated, I've never had this type of reaction.  But, hey, pregnancy will cause you to react oddly to things you're normally used to, so who knows!  Just because I never reacted like this pre-pregnancy if I got dehydrated doesn't mean it'll be the same pregnant.

Either way, I'll be mentioning to my OB next time I see him.

ANYWAY!

Belly shot time, then I'm off to watch more Cake Boss!

And trust when I say that is mostly bloat.  I weighed myself after this picture, and I've hardly gained any weight, so this is most definitely preggo bloat!

Anyway!

G'night!

Ultrasound Pictures

Aha, I've been meaning to update the blog with ultrasound pictures.  Work has been killer the past few days.

ANYWAY!

My estimation days have been off!  So for every picture that's on here, 3 days need to be subtracted from it.

My ultrasound went awesome!  Baby is right on target for growth from when I suspected I ovulated after my MC.  If I had ovulated on my normal schedule, at the time of my ultrasound, based on a 30-day cycle, I would have been about 7w6d.  But I had a hunch I ovulated about 2-3 days later than I normally did.  Which baby showed to be correct.  Baby measured at 7w3d, which is RIGHT on track for my suspected ovulation date.

I got to see the heartbeat, and I got to HEAR the heartbeat, though I didn't quite realize that's what it was until later into the ultrasound.  Like, I knew it was the baby's heartbeat, but it didn't fully sink in until the tech was doing some measurements of my ovaries and whatnot.

Baby's heart rate was 153 BPM.  A nice, strong, healthy heartbeat!

I didn't get weepy-eyed until I got into the car with my SIL (who so graciously took me to my appointment; S, my fiance, didn't go because he had just gotten home from work as we were getting ready to leave, so he was pooped).  After three pregnancies, for the first time, I saw my baby.  It was such a surreal feeling.  I was in this happy, shocked daze during my ultrasound and for the rest of the day.  I couldn't stop looking at the pictures.

Anyway, pictures as promised!  Taken with my phone, so they're not the best!

Profile Shot.  3D no less!

One of the better shots of our little gummy bear.  This was a 3D shot from behind.  Here, you can see the back of its head, its spine, and its little arm buds.  I love this picture <3

And just your standard 2D sonogram.  "Hi Mommy!"

The tech also printed out ultrasound pictures for my SIL that said "Hi Auntie!"  I loved it.  Such a nice touch, and so heartfelt that my SIL started crying.  The tech was awesome and made the experience so memorable and enjoyable.

My next prenatal appointment is on the 11th (S's birthday, hah!).  Excited to see what happens next :D  I'll be doing a Week 8 entry either tomorrow or later into the week.

But I am officially 8 weeks, y'all!  Gosh, time seems to be flying, just a bit, haha!

Week 7: Update on Us!

Update time!  I'm officially 7w4d.  Wow, time is flying FAST!  Feels like only yesterday I was finding out I was pregnant again, but it's been about a month.  I'm getting closer and closer to that 8 week mark, and after that, I'll have officially bypassed either of my pregnancies in regards to how far I am.  It's going to be a surreal feeling.

My morning sickness is picking up steam.  I'm not so much as puking more frequently (well, I am, LOL), but that I feel nauseous ALL the time.  Like 24/7 nausea.  Doesn't matter what I do, I feel sick!  As miserable as it makes me feel, it gives me the reassurance I need to know everything is going okay in there.

So my fiance and I have been having little "quarrels" over what to call our baby in-utero until we know its sex.  I wanted to call it our Little Fox (we are furries after all) but he wants to call it our Little Zombie.  We haven't come to an agreement yet, hah!  But I'll win!  Damn well better win :D

ANYWAY!  Update on my appointment.

My first appointment went well.  Was WAY shorter than I was anticipating, but I think my OB was hoping I'd come in with questions.  Which I know I should have, but I locked up and couldn't think of any.  He was super funny, and I really liked him.  He ordered an ultrasound for this Thursday (the 20th), to see how far along I am exactly, give us about a five day window on my due date, and see how baby is growing.  Especially considering this is after a miscarriage.  Like immediately after a miscarriage.

I told him that when I said my last period was the 24th of October, it was actually the day of my miscarriage.  So it'll be interesting to see if my ultrasound shows me farther along than I think I am, or if I'm about on schedule for where I think I am.  The dates I put for how far along I am are pretty much rough estimates.  I know I ovulated a couple of days later than I normally do for my cycles (so I wasn't too far off from ovulating on time, just a couple of days), but for all I know, my normal ovulation "signs" could have been something else, and I could have ovulated on time.  Ultrasound will give us a better window.

Regardless, I'll be far enough along I should see a heartbeat, so I'm super stoked about that.

At my appointment, they took my blood to test for different things.  STI's, my blood type, etc.  After I told him this was a pregnancy immediately following a miscarriage, he also ordered an hCG quaint test.  Was NOT stoked about that.  I'd like to remain ignorant on my numbers, one less thing for me to stress about.  But I haven't gotten a call from the office, so I'm assuming my numbers are okay.

He did tell me not to stress too much about anything going on with this pregnancy, and to try and remain as normal as possible (no alcohol and smoking of course), but that if I need to drink a soda here and there to remain feeling normal, then to do it.  He told me not to put myself into a bubble, because whatever may happen is out of my hands and by worrying about something bad happening and trying to prevent it by, well, putting myself in a bubble, will just make me miserable.

I was pretty much already doing that as it was.  Enjoying this experience and just trying to remain as normal as possible in my life to keep myself from stressing out too bad.  But it was nice to hear the same reassurance from my OB.

OH!

Wanted to add.  I'm starting to get some rounding out in my pelvic area.  It's so BIZARRE.  I call it my little baby paunch.  My friend suspects it's my uterus starting to push things up.  We couldn't feel my uterus, but she noticed the rounding out I was talking about.  So it's most likely my uterus as well as bloat, but hah, it's so weird to see.  I noticed it around the middle of my 6th week, and it's been getting more noticeable.

Anyway, ultrasound is in a couple of days, I'll probably do a completely separate post for that one.  Fingers crossed everything looks good!

Time for my obligatory belly shot!