Weeks 17 - 20 : Much Has Happened, and We Know Who's Growing In There Now

I haven't updated this blog in almost a month.  I really am sorry.  Between fatigue, work, and just general life, by the time I get around to coming on here, I was too tired to write.

A lot has been going on.  Instead of breaking this down by the separate weeks, I'll just kind of mash it all together.

I'm no longer seeing my OB anymore.  I switched, and it's been a decision I couldn't be happier with.  I had my first appointment just the other day (at 20.5 weeks).  I've gone over to the birthing center and am now being attended to by midwives!  I'm already so in love with the care I've received with them at just my first appointment, and this little one is turning out to be quite stubborn.  Just like momma and daddy.

I've been feeling movements more and more.  The little flutters are starting to turn into kicks.  Little punches.  Little "Hey, mom, I'm in here!  Practicing my dance moves!"

But the best news of all is we finally found out WHO is growing in there.  On the 22nd, at exactly 19 weeks, I got to see our son at his anatomy scan.  A boy.  We're having a boy!

My intuition was so wrong!  He is absolutely perfect.  Growth is right on track, everything looks perfect and beautiful.  He's quite active, as well.  I look back at old posts where I felt sure we were having a girl, and I laugh at the idea now.  I couldn't imagine having a girl.  I couldn't imagine getting to bond with anyone other than our son.

And he has a name.

Elijah Michael.

Our little Eli.  He's such a fighter, such an active little person.  And he seems to be nocturnal, just like us.  I feel him later in the mornings, somewhat in the afternoon, and most definitely at night.  He's most active at night.

I'm so in love already.  Even more so now that I know who is growing in my belly, not just the fact it's a person.

I did have a moment of my heart sinking when we first saw he was, in fact, a boy.  S and I had become so convinced we were having a girl, that's what we had set ourselves up for.  But fate had another plan for us, and as soon as I saw him wiggling and moving after finding out we were having a boy, I fell in love, HARD, with this precious little munchkin wiggling around in my tummy.  That momentary disappointment lasted only a second, because in the same flash of finding out what we were having, he moved, and that's when I felt my heart swell with love and pride.

Our little Eli, a perfect gift.

I get to see him again in a couple of days.  He was a bit TOO active at the anatomy scan, and the tech couldn't get good views of his heart, so I'm going back for his cardiac views.  My SIL is going with so she can see her nephew.

He has decided he hates dopplers.  At my appointment, he kept moving away from it before he finally stopped, but then proceeded to roll around and kick at it.  The midwife laughed at how much he was moving and how big the movements were.  When I was playing around with an at-home doppler, he kept kicking and punching the probe, at one point, hard enough I watched the probe jolt off my stomach.

I've also felt him kick with my hand.  He was moving around something wicked, so I put my hand on my tummy.  This tends to settle him down, but not this time!  This time he kicked at my hand, and I felt it!  I felt HIM!  He did it again the following morning, when I was relaxing with my hand on my belly.  He's getting to be so strong!  And ornery!

I can't believe it's already been a month since my last update.  I can't believe how fast this journey is flying.  It amazes me that in another five months I'll be holding our son.  Snuggling with him, nursing him, and getting to know this small person who has turned our lives upside down and into something so much greater than what it already is.

I'm also getting much more visibly pregnant.  My stomach is getting firmer and rounder.  I've, of course, gotten a few rude comments.  About how I'm "barely showing" and that I'm "so small for five months."  But I've also gotten the people who smile and tell me it's starting to become obvious I'm pregnant (which makes me smile, since most days I just feel like I look fat, not pregnant).  And S likes to tell me how pregnant I look everyday, haha.

Now that we know we're having a son (and watching S read to him has to absolutely be one of the best moments ever), this journey is really setting in, everything's moving forward, and I couldn't be happier with where it's going.

To think, I'll be 21 weeks in just another couple of days!

Week 15 & 16: Movement!

Gah, I've been REALLY slacking at updating my blog.  Sorry, peeps!

I'm almost 17 weeks now :D

So, other than just normal life stuff, some really interesting stuff has been going on with baby!

So last weekend, exactly a week from today actually, I was laying on my belly while on the laptop.  I was putting pressure on my uterus with the way I was laying, and I got the weirdest feeling ever!  Something just rolled in there, like it was rolling away from the pressure.  Of course, because it felt weird, I changed positions and it stopped.

Curious, I tried imitating the position again, managed to, and it didn't happen again.  Then, a few minutes later, I felt something push...PUSH...out against my uterus then pull back in.  Like a little foot.  And in a different spot.  That's when I KNEW it had to be baby.  Didn't feel like gas and didn't feel like my bowels doing...bowel things.

I smiled.

That was at 15 weeks!

Time for 15 week belly shot!

So roll on over to 16 weeks.

I'm feeling baby move more and more.  I'll get what feels like little bubbles popping in my uterus or a little worm crawling under my belly.  There starting to get more defined too.  I had another moment of what felt like a little foot pushing out, like baby was stretching, then curling back up, so pulling their little foot back in.

The other night I was on Skype with a friend (also pregnant and due very, very soon!), and my uterus was stretching on my right side, could feel some minor round ligament pains.  And then, on my left side, I got more of those little rolling flutters.  Which makes sense that it was baby!  Most of the movements I felt have been gravitating towards my left side.  I'll get some movement in the middle, but it ranges between middle and left.  Occasionally on my right side.

I also realized I'm starting to LOOK pregnant.  I noticed it in my reflection when at work today.  Made me smile.

I also think we're having a girl, if the old wives' tales have any merit.  I have been CRAVING sweet and sugary things.  My table is just covered in candy, and I can't help myself!  And everything keeps telling me we're having a girl.  I even referred to the baby as a her today when talking to a coworker and that felt so...right.  We find out in about 2 weeks, so excited!

And here's my 16 week belly shot :)

See you guys all next week!

Week 13 & 14: Into the Second Trimester We Go!

Aaaah, sorry for not updating this last week.

Last week was pretty hellish.  I was dealing with a lot of depression and anxiety, hormones were just spiking it out of control like crazy.  But I'm starting to feel a lot better.  Not much else to report about week 13, other than it kind of sucked.

SO, here's my 13 week belly shot!

SO! Onto week 14.

I started feeling a lot better this week.  Appetite picked back up, depression was mellowing out, and my anxiety wasn't nearly as hectic.  Feeling tons better.

I had an appointment today actually!  My OB's been trying to get a hold of me, but I'm terrible about answering my phone (was busy with work or just sleeping, LOL).  At 10.5 weeks (my last appointment), they did a pap smear on me.

Welllllll....

They got the results back.  And I guess they came back abnormal.  Ugh.  So, I got scheduled for a colposcopy on the 28th of this month.  Fingers crossed it's nothing too bad, hopefully something benign or low grade or just some levels thrown off by being pregnant.  Hopefully, whatever it is, it resolves itself after baby is born.

But speaking of baby!  Baby is doing good!  Little one's heart rate at my appointment was in the 150s.  Within seconds of the doppler being put on my pelvis, we got to hear that magical whoosh of baby's little heart beating healthily and happily.  Brought a smile to my face.

Haven't really gained any weight since my last appointment, so that's good!

Baby has also decided it enjoys sitting on my bladder constantly.  I'm still having frequent urination, waking up at night to go potty.  But my pelvis has popped out and has rounded out and become a lot firmer.  My friend was poking at it, and was all, "Oh yeah.  That is ALL uterus!"  My belly is also getting bigger, not quite hard, baby belly, but definitely getting bigger and rounder!  Should turn into hard belly in the next few weeks :) Can't wait!

And here's my 14 week belly shot!

That's all until next week!

Week 12: Meltdown and Baby Paunch!

I keep updating this later than I mean to, LOL!  12w5d today!

Anyway, this week has been hectic.  I went back to work, and I was doing okay.  Then I've had the past couple of days off, and I had a meltdown.

I just started freaking out and stressing out about our future to come.

If we could handle this emotionally, financially, mentally.  And what we had gotten ourselves into.  I started texting S and apologizing to him.  APOLOGIZING!

For ruining his life, for forcing him into this.  Oh god, it was a terrible night.  Of course, S being as awesome as he is, told me he was happy with what was going on.  He was excited for the baby, and that he loved me...and the baby :)  I actually teared up and almost broke down crying, because that small comment meant so much and made me so happy.  Helped calm me down.

And to make it even sweeter!  When he crawled into bed in the morning, he cuddled up next to me and was rubbing my tummy, telling me how there's a baby in there, and it's our baby.  Though I was half-asleep, I was smiling as he was talking.

I know no matter what comes our way, we can handle it.  We're resourceful people, and even though it'll be stressful at times, we'll be okay.  I have my mother as my inspiration to look up to in that regard.

Anyway.

HAPPIER NEWS!

I've got a baby paunch going on!  No, not quite in my belly yet!  But in my hips/pelvic area it's starting to round out and become firmer!  It's the baby moving up!  But it also means I'm going to be quickly migrating over to maternity pants as well.  I bought the Belly Band for work.  I want to get a pair of khaki-colored cargo pants that the maternity store carries, since our dress code at work changes in March.  But my current work pants probably won't make it, fit wise, until then, and I don't want to buy new work pants for our current dress code for less than two months.  But they've been getting tighter on my hips, and with my shirt tucked in and the belt done up, my hips will start hurting within an hour or two into my shift.

I have an appointment February 8th.  Can't wait to hear baby again!  And my anatomy scan is getting closer and closer.  Just 6 more weeks until we get to see our little bean again!

Anyway, belly shot from yesterday!

Week 11: Birthday! and Anatomy Scan Date!

That's right!  I had my birthday the other day (the 17th) :D I'm officially 21!

To celebrate, my friends took me to Total Wine and I bought my first bottle of alcohol.  No, I didn't drink it, LOL.  I gave it to S, and he's been enjoying it.

Looking like a hot mess.  Hell yeah.

Other than that, I just kinda relaxed the day away.  I had a week off from work, so I wanted to savor my last few days before having to go back.

My nausea is starting to kick in during the morning and at night.  I was tossing and turning last night because I felt so sick to my stomach.  The only way I was finally able to fall asleep was on my back.  Ugh, not fun.  Especially once baby gets too heavy for that.

I have some gloriously huge preggo boobs now.  They're only a touch tender now, they've finally settled down, but god, they're still getting huge.

My anatomy scan!  It's already been scheduled!  March 11th, I'll be getting my anatomy scan at 10:30 in the morning.  I'm so excited!  I'll be exactly 19 weeks when I go in.  I can't wait to find out what we're having.  I keep hoping I have a girl; every time I dream about baby, I dream of a girl.  But all of the silly gender prediction tests and the Chinese calendar tell me I'm having a boy.  So!  We shall see!

Belly shot taken yesterday!  At 11w4d :)

I've deflated a bit, LOL!  Now I'm just looking like a hot, fat mess.  Aaaah, oh well.  My uterus should be lifting out of my pelvic area soon, so hopefully it'll start turning into a baby belly soon.

And because I decided to draw something cute, I drew my fursona all preggo and adorable and chibi!

Anyway, see ya next week!

Week 10: Maternity Clothes and Heartbeat!

I've been kind of lack at posting this on time.  At the time of posting this, I'm 10w6d.  Ahaha, keep posting late.

My appointment on Friday went really, really well.  S came this time, so did one of my friends.  The nurse practitioner (she'll be the one taking care of most of my appointments, since what's convenient for me isn't the same time my OB's around; we've talked about this) tried picking up the heartbeat with the doppler.  We couldn't pick it up, so she went through and did my pelvic exam/pap smear.

Ugh, I did NOT like the pap smear.  My cervix has gotten SO sensitive since becoming pregnant.  When she swabbed my cervix, I had flashbacks to when I terminated my first pregnancy.  It was so upsetting, it felt pretty similar, so I had to keep myself from having a pretty bad anxiety moment.  I just kept reminding myself that she wasn't ripping my baby out of me, and that everything was okay.

AFTER THE PAP SMEAR, she did the pelvic exam and was able to push my uterus up.  When she did this, she tried the doppler afterward, and we managed to pick up the heartbeat!  She said it was in the 140s range.  After hearing it, my anxiety went WAY down.  Especially after having the flashbacks.

S absolutely lit up when he heard the heartbeat, and his smile touched me.

After my appointment, we went back to our place, and my friend and I got together with my SIL and her friend and did some running around.  Went to Buy Buy Baby and looked at some baby stuff, then my friend and I went to the mall and I went and FINALLY bought some maternity clothes!

Got two pairs of leggings.  A shirt with a design on it.  A tank top.  And two three-quarter sleeve shirts.  The leggings are SO comfortable, and I love running around in them.  Wearing the maternity clothes makes all of this feel more real, since, whether I wanted to admit to it or not, my normal clothes aren't nearly as comfortable as they used to be.  Which is a little saddening, but to be expected.

I went to Wal-Mart later, with my friend, and her boyfriend, after S went to work, and I ended up buying a onesie.  I caved.  I've avoided looking at baby stuff, well in regards to myself, because buying anything would make it more real.  So I caved and bought the onesie.  It's currently sitting on our recliner.  I got pretty emotional when I bought it too.

Anyway, that's about it.  Getting closer and closer to being done with this first trimester.  My symptoms are finally subsiding, they're not so overpoweringly strong anymore, which is AWESOME.  Though I am waking up every three hours or so to pee, which is not awesome.

Belly shot time!  I deflated a bit, haha.

Week 9: We're Getting Closer to the First Trimester Homestretch!

Aaah, I'm a bit late in posting this.

Gosh, I'm already almost 10 weeks, will be on Monday.  I told S we officially have a fetus, and he laughed.

As for me, not a whole lot is going on.  I managed to snag a week off from work to just relax.  The way my nausea was going, it was making it hard to focus on my tasks and get things done without worrying if I was going to upchuck or have to rush off to vomit.  So I wasn't any real help to anyone at work.

My next appointment is on the 11th, I'll be about 10.5 weeks when I go in.  S is coming with, in case they use the Doppler and we're able to hear baby's heartbeat (I also keep reminding myself we may not, and that it's not indicative anything's going wrong...I has pudge, so it may make it harder to hear at 10.5 weeks).  After that, clothes shopping with my SIL and a friend :D and one of my SIL's friends (who is ALSO preggo).

So my symptoms are starting to hit that point where they're subsiding.  My nausea isn't so overpowering anymore, and I'm not waking up queasy as often.  My heartburn is making a comeback, which SUCKS.  My boobs aren't as tender anymore, but damnit they're starting to get itchy all the time.  I finally outgrew one of my bras and had to put on a bigger bra I had laying around.

Unfortunately, even though this means I'll luck out from having morning sickness my entire pregnancy, it's making me panic.  All I've had are my symptoms to keep me grounded and from panicking over every little thing.  With them starting to subside (which is NORMAL at this point), it is pushing the freak-out button.  At some points, it's enough to make me cry, because all I want is to enjoy my pregnancy, not freak-out over every little possible thing.  So, yeah, my biggest fear is losing the baby at this point.

But, I'm getting better at managing the panic.  I just know I'm about to hit that limbo of not really having many symptoms and not quite looking pregnant yet.  So it's difficult not to freak-out.

I'll feel better once I feel baby kick and move in there.

I'm also starting to get more noticeable round ligament pains, OUCH.  If I sneeze, move wrong, stretch wrong, get up too fast, it's like I pulled a muscle and it hurts.  Ugh!

But in a few weeks, I'll be in my second trimester.  Gosh, I'm already almost halfway through my third month.  Time really is flying by!

Obligatory belly shot :) Belly is starting to round out a bit now, granted it's still mostly bloat, but damn it looks so different from when I was only 4 weeks preggo.  I can't wait for it to get that characteristically hard pregnant belly look instead of the rounded bloated look, hah!